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15 марта 2024

Вес: Потеряно до сих пор: Еще предстоит сделать: Следовательность диеты:
93,8 кг 8,3 кг 32,6 кг Достаточно Хорошо
   Добавить Комментарий Набралось 0,6 кг за Неделю

14 марта 2024

Вес: Потеряно до сих пор: Еще предстоит сделать: Следовательность диеты:
93,7 кг 8,3 кг 32,5 кг Достаточно Хорошо
   Добавить Комментарий Набралось 0,6 кг за Неделю

13 марта 2024

Вес: Потеряно до сих пор: Еще предстоит сделать: Следовательность диеты:
93,6 кг 8,4 кг 32,4 кг 100%
   (1 комментарий) Потеряно 0,6 кг за Неделю

12 марта 2024

Another nice surprise by the scale!

I guess not surprisingly I have been thinking about my mother and the way she is and how she has treated my sister and me. I have had random thoughts cross my head about appropriate responses to her and the most recent one - which spun me into deeper thought - was "and you wonder why my sister is an alcoholic in an abusive relationship". That got me actually thinking.

I don't blame my mother or my past for who I am today. But growing up with her was not easy. As I said before, I moved out when I was 13 and I am very lucky to have had my father as a person to talk to and for a place to live. But I am very different from my sister and while we grew up together, she got it worse. She was molested twice by different people, she stayed with my mother longer, and she just isn't a fighter like I am. I was always the one telling everyone what was right/wrong/off. The relationship the two of them have is VERY unhealthy.

Also, as I said before, my son adores my mother. He is not a fighter like me. He is a nice person, super kind, and more like his father. But he is strong and happy with himself and able to accept it's "their crazy" and not his. I think he will be ok if, and I have not yet decided my plan, I continue to have my mother in our lives.

What she did isn't the end of the world, it just made me realize she will never change. It made me contemplate if I wanted that toxicity in my life.
Вес: Потеряно до сих пор: Еще предстоит сделать: Следовательность диеты:
93,7 кг 8,3 кг 32,5 кг 100%
   (3 комментарий) Потеряно 5,7 кг за Неделю

11 марта 2024

Grr. My complete fault for the gain - I caved and didn't follow my meal plan. I don't even know what to say. It is my fault. I allowed myself to be/feel triggered and that is something I can control.

Stress, pressure (kid injury, hours at Kaiser, and then I finally did my taxes) and then good ol' degrading and mean mother and I revert to a kid again. I was so hurt and then I was angry. I shared with her my news about losing 10lbs and how excited I was and her response was hurtful, self serving, and just flat our mean all while she was putting me down and judging me.

Today I have a much healthier response and I don't care - that is her crazy. I am sad for her that in all of these years she has not been able to change or grow into a nicer person. I am still trying to figure out what my ultimate response will be. My typical response is to just stop talking to her and walk away. I moved out when I was 13 to escape the craziness BUT my son absolutely adores her. Something to continue to think about.

I am back at it and I know it will take me at least 3 days to get back to where I was. Stupid me. Lesson - by now should be - learned. No more.
Вес: Потеряно до сих пор: Еще предстоит сделать: Следовательность диеты:
94,5 кг 7,5 кг 33,3 кг Плохо
   (2 комментарий) Набралось 2,5 кг за Неделю


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