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05 июля 2022

Another BBQ yesterday, which went similar to the other one this holiday weekend: danced, caught up with people I haven't seen in ages, and played in the pool. Didn't eat anything, didn't drink anything besides water, didn't feel tempted. Too many thin people around and with me wearing a bikini, did not want to have my stomach "pop" out. 👙🙁

It's all about the environment. Fit people socializing but not stuffing themselves means more play time.

I left before the fireworks because I just really wanted to go home, shower and sleep. Swimming is a great sleeping pill. 🥱

Earlier I went grocery shopping, and stood in front of the fresh baked bread for a couple of minutes. Just kind of sat with it, asking myself if a loaf would make me happy or fat. Don't want to feel fat again, so I moved on. Sticking to the plan! Have another Lipid Panel drawing coming up and I really want great numbers.

03 июля 2022

First Pool Party of the weekend yesterday, and my attack plan of the food offerings went out the window.

Bright sunshine, fun music had everyone bouncing and moving while sipping their drinks in that subtle way that a good beat just infuses your body, and people already in the pool. I said hello to the hosts, tossed my stuff on a chaise, and jumped in the water.

I spent the afternoon socializing instead of eating. I had bottled water, reunited with friends I hadn't seen since 2020, and danced with some goofballs in that living room-style of unselfconsciousness. There was grilling going on, of course, but I never even made it over to the food table.

It was like the 2 years that I got fat never happened. On Friday I had agonized and planned about how I was going to handle a food free-for-all (Cheat plan was for 1 veggie burger and 2 gin & tonics). Literally, old thin habits of not caring about eating had kicked in and instead I just relaxed and enjoyed the company.

Today I feel pleased that I did not imbibe and ruin my diet experiment, as I'm getting my second Lipid panel done next week. It's about my health and my goals. I'm ready for tomorrow's BBQ!

01 июля 2022

Happy Independence Day weekend, fellow Americans! 💛😎🧨🎆

Happily venturing out to a couple of BBQ's over the next few days; thankfully everything is outdoors in the interest of Covid safety. One of the hosts even posted the menu. They're expecting some vegans and vegetarians, so veggie burgers and black bean burgers are being grilled. I skip the bun and just eat these like a cookie.

Usually at picnics I'll stick with gin & tonic(s) and bottled water (I bring alcohol instead of food; it's always a crowd pleaser 😁). Food-wise I just eat grapes, watermelon, or fruit salad. Baked beans are okay if I'm hungry and there's no fruit. Macaroni and potato salads are just gross to me, as I'm not a fan of hard boiled eggs and mayo. Easy calories avoided! The upcoming BBQ's will be my first "cheat" days, in that my regular diet does not include alcohol or processed foods like Morningstar Farms burgers.

Leaving everyone with some political art and philosophy:

"We have art in order not to die of the truth." -Friedrich Nietzsche

Wilhelm Sasnal, Untitled

22 июня 2022

03 июня 2022



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