I have been a tall (6'2), "big girl" ever since I can remember. People have always used the words "big" to describe me. And over the years have probably tried to unconsciously fit into those words, own them somehow because I KNEW I was that-much-bigger-taller-than-everyone-else. Crazy logic, I KNOW. Not too long ago I was looking at some old photos of me in grade 9 and realized that I had NEVER been fat, big, or abnormally large, or circus freakish like everyone had made me out to be. I was actually quite thin and healthy looking. My "AHH-ha" moment was never clearer than THAT minute. More recently though, I have noticed that my body hates carrying around the extra weight and that the "even distribution" isn't so even anymore. I am on high blood pressure medication (which I want off SO bad). I keep thinking to myself that if I could lose 30 pounds I bet I wouldn't have to take that medication anymore. I am also diabetic and know from watching The Biggest Loser that if I was to lose 50 pounds that would also go away. My middle (abdomen) is starting to look like I'm carrying around a fanny pack, even though I'm not. I am at that point in my life where I WANT to have kids and I KNOW that if that was to happen now I would probably die from the baby weight gain and I would probably have complications that I can't even imagine right now.

I have a dream.

That one day I will be 180-190 pnds (I'll know when I get there which one feels good), that I will be able to run a marathon, actually screw the marathon I want to do a TRIATHALON, get healthy and off my medication, and have a stomach similar to what Ryan Reynolds is sporting except for a woman. Gawd, he's a gorgeous man and SO CANADIAN.

WHO'S WITH ME?