|
Good morning FS friends
Memorial is coming up fast and furious. Decided to no longer sit on the sidelines and hope that they have done what needs doing as originally they indicated that they would own the process. Called the lead, and found out that the only thing done partially is the eulogy. Aaaargh. So I prepared the framework for the service, sent it to the sons, now just looking for the input from them. Tried to set up a Zoom call to do the walk through to no avail. Am meeting with the pastor at the venue on Friday. Failing getting any input from them, I'll just move ahead and take the decisions on Thursday. Frustrating, but so it goes. Last thing I'll need to do to close off this chapter of my life with John. Not that there won't be an ongoing of journey of grief, but it will be the last act of love. So be it. Have also learned that my ability to be a follower of a leader that isn't leading is not possible. Likely partially a result of being an only child and later in my life, part of a dynamic, collaborative senior management team that actually set priorities and together we got some pretty amazing things created and achieved.
Communication is not his family's strong suit. Could be so much simpler/easier were it so.
As to food, haven't logged as every time I've tried to do so, the system is undergoing maintenance. No odds, haven't gone off the rails other than protein consumption isn't where it should be. Am leaning into cravings for cold pineapple, strawberries, cherries and watermelon. Carb high, but the body wants these things at the moment. I figure, that at least it's not cake, candy, cookies and ice cream. (a big win actually given my past addiction to these things)
Heading outside to carry on with my yard work and burn off some frustration. Busy afternoon, with a What is Grief workshop followed by my annual doctors appointment. Want to review with him what is a reasonable goal weight. The one I'd set was arbitrary and put me in mid range normal BMI. Although my waist has shrunk by 16 inches, it is still larger than it should be according to the charts. Dang menopause. Also need to figure out the left drop foot thing, so hopefully he'll have some results from the xrays and we can go from there. At physio yesterday, happy to report there is now the slightest most miniscule of movement and my three middle toes are no longer void of feeling. Minute progress, but progress nonetheless.
And so it goes. Another day to get through.
Over and out
|
