Snowwhite100- Журнал, 30 янв 22

No negative comments about yourself 😉 

Your husband needs glasses.  

you look awesome. I would not give you 74 and you really not seem to let yourself go. And I really hate the comment your husband made. But sometimes we need to ignore our spouses (silly) comments. 

Thank you all so much. I really needed a lift. Some, probably most haven't read my past posts where I am complaining. I try not to because some others said I must be mentally ill (in private messages) and was just a whinner. He is 86 with heart failure, now has aggressive cancer (melanoma in his lymph) that has no chemo, and memory loss. He is on a rampage yesterday and today throwing my stuff away. He has threatened to shoot me and he has pushed and thrown me around some, but not hitting. He threatens too though. Yes, I am afraid of him, afraid of pain, but not to die. By the way, he does not have a gun. I know, I know he could probably get one. A year ago he was in the hospital 6 times in 13 months. Since his van burned up we only have one car. If I leave, he couldn't go shopping or out to eat. He drives very little, is somewhat dangerous on the road, has trouble using the telephone, can't hear much even with expensive hearing aids, and is dizzy most of the time. Until Sunday I thought I would never leave him. I will not go to a shelter, the police would come. Time before last in the hospital they called a code grey, gave him anti-psychotics, and tied him down. If I leave he will wind up dead one way or another. His brother committed suicide. He was always a bully, but charming: a narcissist. Our daughter says I am playing the victim. I finally told my 2 nephews and their wives that I am finally afraid of him (before he threatened to shoot me). Not one of them ever said one word of support to me, not one word of anything. Our daughter is angry at me for telling them how things are and they are not speaking to me. We have been married for 60 years, is it enough? Could I just lay down and die? We are not vaccinated, life will probably happen. No, he was not complimenting me. When I weighed 118 several years ago he said I was fat. He calls me all kinds of names and says horrible things about my nature, opinions, and mostly my character. That hurts the worst. He is the one person who is supposed to protect me. Before him, my father was my protector. He molested me. It's a wonder Jesus accepted me. I don't, and my husband never did. Good thing these remarks are in "comments". I don't want to tell my reality in my journal anymore, and just be told about whining. My dieting is going really well. 

I feel for you Snow:( Dementia is horrible, things said, actions carried out, no control over any of it. I suggest contacting the Alzheimer's society to get some self care and get in touch with others in similar situation. I know it's terrible to say but he might be ready to go into some sort of care facility that can deal with his outbursts. It's only going to get worse and you are too wonderful of a lady to have to continue on this path. You need to live your life to its fullest! We're here for you Snow 

You’re beautiful! Don’t let anyone ( including your husband or children) ever make you fell less ! You’re a child of the Lord and just remember he made you perfect! 

Please consider having your husband evaluated. It does sound as if he has dementia. I had a good friend in a similar situation .... her husband stabbed her one night as she was sleeping. She survived. Her husband in now in a home where she visits him, but professionals take care of him. She is happy, traveling, and enjoying a life not confined to her house. 

You should've said the only thing I'm letting go is you. You look fantastic. He sucks. 

nice  

You are beautiful! 😍 He on the other hand was an ass! 

You are gorgeous! 

Gorgeous 

You are beautiful inside and out. Your strength in the face of the abuse you have endured is amazing and inspiring! You deserve to have peace in your life. As others have said, your husband needs to be evaluated. If he refuses to cooperate, you are not responsible for his choices. Leave the abuse behind. Let your daughter know that you have chosen not to be a victim anymore. If she would like to be his caregiver, she's welcome to the position. You have endured more than enough! Prayers for your strength to carry you to a safer and happier environment!  

Beautiful pic ❤️❣️❤️ very gorgeous lady 😚 

I hope your daughter knows how lucky she is to have you in her life.. My parents refuses to talk to me anymore and it used to hurt me. Now that i am trying to let go of my past it is not hurting as bad. They don’t talk to me because they don’t like my spouse, whom they picked for me in our arranged marriage.. what a joke!! Now I am living for my 3 beautiful children.. I came across your picture and story today.. please know you are very much appreciated and loved…  

Beautiful and Classy!!! You look like Royalty !!!🙂 

you look amazing 🤩 

Beautiful 🌺 

Beautiful! It must be awful to live a life of being mean, how sad is that? As for you, I'm always impressed by your strength. 

Thank you for all the kind comments. I don't look that good now after 6 years, and it's been a hard six. In reference to my husband having dementia, he has not been diagnosed as such, only with memory loss. His primary doctor (he has many specialists at UCLA) asked me if she should be worried about me? I truthfully told her he is not hitting me. I can't share he pushes me or throws me around. The police would either take him out of the home or not believe me. Are you aware of how many women are being abused by charming men but not believed by the police? Our daughter told me if I ever call the police I would pay dearly for it because he would retaliate and I believe she is right. He is very vindictive. She was married to a schizophrenic abuser, and I was afraid for a long time he would come to kill her. If I leave for even a day my husband would throw away all my clothes and personal things. Now it is my books, hats, food, reference material, personal things, and decorating things. He would never stay in a "facility" unless they tied him down and drugged him. I can't turn him in, I'd rather die. Our daughter will not take him unless I'm not here, and even then would not keep him in her home. She's pretty cold about that. She barely speaks to me and is angry she will need to take care of our house when I'm gone. One would think receiving our 2 story home (paid for), a cabin, and our savings would satisfy her to hire it done, and not be so angry about it. I offered to find friends and neighbors (at minimum wage) to take care of individual groups of things like books to the library, clothes to the women at Teen Challenge and the Walter Hoving Home, kitchen items into the trash, and the Goodwill, but she said no, she wants to go through everything. But she is so angry at me for having "stuff". It's true I have clothes in the attic in sizes 4 to 12, but isn't that my business? She wants me to get rid of everything I am not using like she is. I wore a jacket to church Sunday I haven't worn in a couple of years. I never go to the mall, only the Goodwill type places, and don't even do that anymore. I like and want my clothes. Remodeling them is my hobby. I do give a lot away. When I lost $80,000.00 of decorating things (gifts from rich relatives) in the earthquake of 1994 she told me not to ask the insurance company for any of the money, because they had to pay out for so many other people. And we should fix the house ourselves. Am I the scum of the earth? I guess I don't deserve money or repayment for damages. If your car was totaled would you not accept the money from the poor insurance company? No, she doesn't appreciate me, she doesn't even like me. I guess she takes after her father. See, my heart is dark.