melissatwa- Журнал, 05 янв 22

It is hard for me to believe that I started my journey here three years ago. During that time I've had some really beautiful times and great feelings of success. A tremendous amount of stress and some injuries have slowed me down and caused me to feel I am losing my grip. My focus is so committed to other issues in life. I am trying to find balance and to learn how to again take care of myself. Taking care of others can't consume me.

I know several pounds will probably drop quickly as I settle into a more normal CICO. I wasn't even going to weigh today, because I wanted to be "on track" a few days before facing the wretched scale. Whatever... it is what it is.

I know I can not fix the sorrows in life. I can sink deeper into letting the pain in my heart control me, or I can try make better decisions each day for my health and mental health.

There were some beautiful moments over the holidays! I am trying to hang onto those! I had a full house of mostly relaxed young people. Now they are back to attending classes (even though three are starting the quarter remotely). My nephew from Alberta made it home safely. My youngest daughters bf, who was staying with us most of the last couple weeks, left for his university campus in another part of the state yesterday. "Normal" is again life. My youngest girl's head is so bad. The pain is worse and the associated pain syndrome is enveloping so many other areas of her body. It just breaks my heart. But, she had some good days over the break, and we just hang onto the hope that the specialists will keep working to help her.

Every day is a new start. There are no mistakes in it yet. There is hope that today could be better than yesterday. There is the dream that there are good days ahead for the precious people I love... and for me.

Here are a few pictures that remind me of special memories from the last couple weeks. I got to have my five kids and three beautiful "extra" kids to love. The final photo is my husband and me from this summer while visiting Germany. There are good days ahead: I have good memories to savor. I am going to focus on my blessings!

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