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valerieaustin1
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11 января 2015
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08 января 2015
Made it through a rough night of wanting ANYTHING to eat but what's on my food plan. It's really difficult some days - I have 3 other people under my roof and for the most part they are VERY supportive. They waited till I was in bed to make a pizza for themselves I knew from the smells in the house that it was there and I had already been desperate to cheat.
I'm very grateful today for the willingness to push through the night and make it to a new day! Tonight I take a 30 day chip from my 12 Step Bible Study Recovery group. It's been 5 years since I've been able to put 30 days together free from cumpulsive eating.
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01 января 2015
I know that the number on the scale is going to do it's thing regardless of how well I stick to my food plan, just doesn't make it as exciting as when I see a drop.
Last night I snaked on what I thought was allowable food, then I went to log my food this morning only to find I went over by about 6-8 carbs, maybe more.
I know I shouldn't kick myself on such a small number. However, for me, because I'm a food addict, I am participating in a Bible based 12-step recovery group where each day matters and so it's a little more that just a few carbs. I can't lose sight of my recovery and healthy choices because it's a "special occasion" or "holiday".
Earlier today thoughts of wrestling the hot dog right out of my husbands hands danced in my head. He obviously sensed it and left the room with it!! My daughter came to later to say he felt bad about eating his hot dog alongside me because he knew how much I'd like to have a hot dog in a bun.
That said, I'm back on track. For me, for my family, for my health and mind.
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30 декабря 2014
Got one mile of walking in yesterday and today. I'm feeling great, motivated and willing.
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28 декабря 2014
I went to my FAVORITE Mexican restaurant last night as a gift to my Mom for Christmas. I have to be honest, I was expecting to break from 100% vigilance to my food plan and have at least a teaspoon of rice and beans and maybe even one chip with their amazing salsa.
Here's what I realized though, sitting there with mom's delicious food sitting there alongside my grilled chicken salad. A teaspoon of anything will not satisfy the desire I have for it and neither will one chip so why poke the sleeping dragon.
I'm a recovering crack addict, clean for 25 years now. I have often said that as ugly as it sounds, if there was an amount of my drug of choice that would "satisfy" beast, then I would be back at it. But the reality is, I know 100% certain that once I take the 1st hit I am insatiable so for today, I am free from that bondage.
I am so grateful to God that last night, for the 1st time ever, I have made that same identification with food. This morning it crossed my mind of how silly the thinking was that a teaspoon off mom's plate would be ok for me. Mexican food is my absolute most favorite food. It would have brought a sad morning today because I know that I am just as insatiable to those wonderful flavors and carbs as I am to my drug of choice.
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