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16 декабря 2018

“I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles” ― Audrey Hepburn

So I didnt lose much, but a loss is a loss. I will take it. I know that I havent been eating on plan, so I know that is why I am not losing like I should and have been in the past. Its such a transitional time for me right now, though, and I dont use that an an excuse, but Im learning how to handle a lot of new responsibility and there are times its easier to drive through Burger King than it is to come home and make a burger patty with all the fixin's. I just need to get up and get my head back in the game. I will say, though, that I am nearly 200lbs lighter than I was last Christmas, so that is a win no matter how you look at it!! I am excited to be where I am, even if I am tripping up a lot here lately, I am still better off than I was!

I had two job interviews with JB Hunt, and I really felt good about them. Now, its just a matter of waiting to see what they thought. They had me there for 2 hours, and at one point I was sitting with an employee learning the job and what he did during the day. I feel like they wouldnt have wasted his time and mine doing that if they werent interested, but you just never know. Im so stressed out about the job thing, because I am so unhappy where I am at. I feel like I have failed in that aspect of my life, I am at a dead end and dont know where to go from here.

I know that I am not an absolute failure, I have such good things in my life. I have a family who loves me, I have a community here who are so supportive and caring, I have friends who love me. Its just, when a person looks at you and asks what you do, it makes you feel like a loser when you dont have a real career to tell them about. I dont believe that a person is made up of their career or paycheck, but the world views success as that and its a hard pill to swallow when you look at your life and see that you have gone nowhere. I dont know, I guess I am looking at it too critically, I just need to let life take me where it will. God has a plan, and whatever that plan is, is good enough for me!

Aside from my 9-5, I have a little Ebay thing on the side, it doesnt make much, just enough to supplement when we want to take a trip or need a little extra. Its helped a ton with Christmas presents this year. Unfortunately, the store that we always went to to buy things for our Ebay got in some trouble with the state recently and got shut down for tax evasion. All of their inventory was seized and will be auctioned off. It sucks, they had some really great deals. They would buy Amazon liquidation pallets and then sell the items inside for $5.00, meaning, whatever was in there was a steal. Sometimes it would be xBoxes and Nintendos, sometimes it would be kitchen gadgets, just all sorts of things. It was a great place to go, and it sucks that they are shut down now. We will have to go back to buying from the Goodwill and Salvation Army, which is what we started out doing.

Anyway, my sister is having a rough day with my nephew and I think she is going to drop by. I am going to close this with a prayer for guidance and patience. I pray that the Lord watches over us all, leading us in the direction that he would have us go, watching over us and helping make the right choices in life. I pray for patience for myself, I pray for the worrying and stress to ease and be replaced with joy and a heart of worship. I pray for all of us to lean on Him for support and guidance. I pray for success and victory over all of the demons in our lives. I pray love and comfort over each and every one of us. Thank you Lord for this community of people who want to help, who guide and who push each other to be better. In your Holy Name I pray, Amen!!

Be good to each other! Love one another and support each other. Give kicks in the butt when needed, but always remember that everyone struggles, so be gentle. I love you all!!

Вес:	Потеряно до сих пор:	Еще предстоит сделать:	Следовательность диеты:
153,5 кг	75,6 кг	40,1 кг	Плохо

(6 комментарий) Потеряно 0,1 кг за Неделю

09 декабря 2018

"Every moment spent worrying about 'the way things were' is a moment stolen from creating 'the way things should be'" - Robin Sharma

Happy Sunday everyone!! I hope you are all having a wonderful day!! I know I am! ITs been a busy one, I have listed stuff on Ebay and started cleaning up things. I made my husband and I breakfast this morning, and will be making Gumbo for dinner. I am not going to use seafood, I know not traditional, but I will be using some sausage and some chicken. Its a mix that a friend of mine got me in New Orleans, so I am hoping its good. I have never made gumbo, never even really eaten it, so I guess we shall see.

I am pretty pleased with my drop this week. I knew it was just a matter of time, but I was worried that I had taken so long to get back on keto that I wouldnt do well, but it was just a matter of getting my head in the game. I suffered a little keto flu getting back in, but it wasnt too bad. It was weird, because I didnt suffer it the first time, but I do remember that I ate a lot of pickles that first time, and I didnt do that this time. It was probably a shortage of magnesium and sodium, I need to remember to eat pickles, or at least drink the juice. I have a slight head cold, so its causing a headache, so I need to do that anyway to combat that. I hate headaches, I have suffered them my whole life, allergies and stuff, and these last few days have been pretty bad. I am trying not to complain though, because what good does that do?!

I have been wearing a size 34 jeans for a long long time, I recently bought a bag of clothes off craigslist for 40 bucks, and it was 13 pairs of pants in a size 28. They all fit!! I was so excited. I kept 10 of them, so that really helped. The other 3 were either not my style, or just didnt feel good. Two were peddle pushers, and I have ugly ankles so I got rid of them and one was a pair of yellow and brown plaid dress pants that I cannot imagine anything matching. The others were all jeans that were cute, so I was really happy. I bought them, sight unseen, so I didnt really know what I was getting into. It was nice to put on a size 28 and have them fit, some are even a bit too big!! I have a size 26, a 24, and a 22 for when I am ready, too!! I am so excited to finally be getting into sizes that I can buy in the store!! Ordering clothes online is such a gamble!

Speaking of buying clothes in the store, I am going to post a picture of my husband and I at Halloween, we went as a plague doctor and the plague. I was the plague, I was able to get a costume off the rack at the Halloween store!! It was amazing!! I cried when I tried them on, and was able to fit in them. It has been years since I was able to do that! I used the horns from a Maleficent costume, and then the dress and cape from a witch costume. It was a throw together, because we were in the middle of packing to move, but I think we did pretty good!!

Today I will thank God for another week, and another day to proclaim his greatness. I will praise him for the support and success that I have felt this week. I will ask that he touches and blesses each and every one of you with the same love and blessings that I feel that He has blessed me with. I pray for healing, strength and successes for us all. In Jesus name, Amen!!

Be good to yourselves, because you are the person you will be spending the rest of your life with!! Oh, and I just wanted to say again, thank you for all the love and support that you have given to me!! You are all the most amazing people!! Love you!!!

(7 комментарий)

08 декабря 2018

Finally broke from my stall and my gain over Thanksgiving!!! I am pumped and ready to kick some keto butt!!! I thank God for His blessing and I know I couldn't do this without His help. Alone, I am weak, but with God I AM A WARRIOR!!! Have a great Saturday, everyone!!!

Вес:	Потеряно до сих пор:	Еще предстоит сделать:	Следовательность диеты:
153,6 кг	75,5 кг	40,2 кг	Достаточно Хорошо

(10 комментарий) Потеряно 19,1 кг за Неделю

07 декабря 2018

Вес:	Потеряно до сих пор:	Еще предстоит сделать:	Следовательность диеты:
156,3 кг	72,8 кг	42,9 кг	Достаточно Хорошо

(9 комментарий) Потеряно 0,6 кг за Неделю

06 декабря 2018

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places" - Ernest Hemingway

Hello everyone!! I hope that you all had a fabulous day! Mine was alright, nothing too terrible, just work. I am trying to learn to love everyday, no matter what happens, because there are times that I can get so deep into my own mind and depression that its hard for me to get back out and I dont like being there. I am learning that I cannot control other people, I can only control how I react to other people. That is a big one for me, because I try and try to make everyone happy, and I cannot always do that. There are some people who are going to be unhappy, no matter how hard you try and you cannot let them being miserable get you down.

So, I have had some terrible luck at work lately. They have been just so hard to deal with. I was told that I was stealing, which I wasnt, and a camera was put into my office to watch everything I do. I was told that if I "take so much as an envelope from this building" that I would be fired. I have never stolen anything from them, I have always tried to do everything I could to HELP their business, but they are being crazy. I dont understand what happened, or why they think these things about me, but I am working hard at getting another job. I cannot work there any longer. The harassment was one thing, I could overlook that, but now they are attacking my personal character and I will not continue to be in such a toxic place. It has gotten so bad that the new girl we hired mentioned it to me, that she didnt understand why they treat me so bad and asked me how I could handle it. I told her that I had to pay my bills, I had to work to live, so I have to deal with it until I find something else.

Luckily, my neighbor in my new apartment is a high up at JB Hunt, so he recommended me for a few different positions there, and I have applied. Now its just the waiting game. I will miss my friend John, who I have worked with for the last 8yrs and has become one of my very best friends, but I know that for my own mental stability, I have to leave. I just cannot continue to work in such a terrible environment. Change is always a little scary, but it helps us grow.

As for my weightloss journey, I have gained this past month. I let myself go, I celebrated getting a new place and then Thanksgiving happened and I just did not get back on track. I only gained a little, but a gain is a gain and I do not want them! I am working hard to reverse those bad habits again, and having to take that one step at a time. I have done it before, but I will be honest, it seems harder this time around. I know I can do it, I am just frustrated at myself for letting it get out of hand. I will be back on track in no time, I am strong enough to do it. Its just annoying that I let it get like this. My ketoversary is January 2nd, and my FSversary is January 18th, so I am hoping to be down quite a bit by that time. I have gone through a lot this year, with all of you, and without you, I couldnt have made it this far. I love you all!!

I lift my life up to the Lord, my journey into health, my job, my living situation and everything else because He has carried me here before. He has guided me and brought me to a place of victory and I know that He will do it again. He is my rock, my tower, and my savior! God, I thank you for the people here, who have helped me get to where I am. I thank you for the kindness and support they have shown me. I pray that you touch their lives, give them strength and shower them with love, just like they have done for me. I praise you and thank you, in Jesus holy name, Amen!!

I hope you all know how much you mean to me. You have allowed me to share my victories and my struggles and been there every step of the way. Thank you! I love you all!!

(5 комментарий)

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