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29 августа 2015

16 августа 2015

It's been a funny weekend. Yesterday was busy, had to take oldest son to a music performance in between waiting for someone to turn up and look at our roof. Hubby was originally replacing our guttering but had to stop one side as he found nesting sparrows and removing the guttering for a day or two to allow him time to sand back and repaint the wood the gutters are attached to (there is a technical term for it but I haven't a clue what it is lol) would mean that the sparrows wouldn't be able to access their nest as it's tucked under the first row of roof tiles, while he's up the ladder he notices we've got to have all the top tiles repaired as their loose and the cement at the ends has come away....oh great! So the man turns up yesterday to look at our roof and he can't do it for whatever reason so he has given us the number of a man who can. Well the sparrows will only be there another week or two so that's not a problem, he has started on the other side of the house instead lol. Today has been a highly emotional day, went round to the in-laws and the hubby and mother-in-law ended up having a full blown row! Normally we get on fine, she has a tendency to criticise everything we do and we normally just let it go, last week she had a moan at me because my youngest eats lots of fruit and veg and not much meat and she feels he needs to eat more meat for his protein, well I googled and at his age (17mths) he needs a minimum of 13g of protein, he's getting 12g from his full fat milk alone! The week previously she decided to moan about the fact the youngest doesn't sleep all night, yes he's 17mths old and still doesn't sleep through the night....never mind the fact that that boy started screaming at 2 weeks old for 17hrs a day and didn't stop till he was 1yr, I don't care that he doesn't sleep all night, I would rather get up twice a night to tuck him back in then have him scream like that again, him not sleeping doesn't affect her, she doesn't live with us and she doesn't have to get up to sort him out! Well today she decided to start on the amount of tv that the youngest watches, he has it on for an hr in the morning before his nap and an hr in the evening before bed, he doesn't watch it as such, it's just mainly background noise, if something comes on with a tune then he will dance to it but that's as good as it gets, well apparently this is too much telly time and I'm using it as a baby sitter and the tv means nothing to him and he won't ever learn to sit and watch it properly....she went on and on and on....I was just gobsmacked by it all....but the hubby wasn't having any of it this time and threw a few home truths back at her and ended up rounding up the kids and walking out leaving me just sitting there, it was very awkward but I think the hubby was right to stand up to her. It's not that I don't like the mother in law, we only live round the corner and I'm the one that says to the hubby every weekend that we should pop round to see his parents, I'm the one that will stand there nattering in the kitchen, I'm the one that will volunteer our help if they ever need anything done...but it does get very tiring being constantly belittled and criticised! She is constantly comparing me to his sister who has 5 kids, looks immaculate, hair/makeup/nails done, skinny as a twig always wearing fantastic clothes...but has declared herself bankrupt, sold her kids toys, committed benefit fraud, had 2 affairs, not sure on whether the oldest and youngest are her husbands and dumps her kids at the mother in laws every other weekend so she can go out. We are independent, don't ask the inlaws for anything, we've only been out twice in 10yrs as the mother in law has refused to have our kids and we don't know anyone who we could get to babysit (we don't mind, our kids will eventually move out then we don't need to worry about babysitters lol), I'm not stick thin, rarely wear makeup, haven't been to the hairdressers since the youngest came along and the last time I had my nails done was the day I got married.....but to be honest....I would rather be me...I have 3 fantastic boys who do drive me crazy but they also make me very happy, the oldest 2 are polite, kind and very helpful, the youngest is a work in progress, I have a fantastic husband that loves me to the moon and back, he would do anything for me and has stuck with me through some tough patches. All I need now is to stop being compared to others, criticised, and just accepted for who I am!
sorry to rant but after today I can't exactly rant to the husband, he is in turmoil over what was said between him and his mum, it wouldn't be fair to add my feelings in to it.

05 августа 2015

Pms has set in, all rational thoughts are out the window! Last night went to bed sulking as I'd convinced myself that no matter what I do I will never lose my baby belly (logically no...I will never lose my baby belly, with my last baby I gained very little weight but had a massive belly resulting in stretched skin that may never go back) but that's the price some people pay for having kids. I'm starting to love my exercise, although it kills me at the time, it's only 25mins but I find myself clock watching for the youngest to go to bed so that I can do it, it's MY 25mins of pushing all the days stress and frustrations out of my body. My legs can't seem to cope as well as the rest of my body but the exercises are very leg intensive, I find myself slowing down to allow them a slight rest then pick up the pace again, it's frustrating when they become so heavy/numb/deadweight but I just can't seem to push through no matter how hard I try, I suppose they will catch up eventually. The hubby is still exercising with me every day, he has his own issues going on and isn't exercising to lose weight or tone up, his cfs consultant has recommended that he does a little exercise every day to try to improve his stamina, he is doing really well, he is working at a slow controlled pace with the aim of trying to complete as much of each exercise dvd as he can, he completes most moves unmodified but only does half the amount of moves. It's nice that we're doing it together, it gives us something else to talk about and we can motivate each other along.....now if only my damn legs would catch up!!!!

27 июля 2015

Not awake yet, waiting for the coffee to kick in. I'm feeling pretty good, exercising every eveninig, pushing myself that little bit harder every time, legs are still like lead half way through but they still move (only just at times but some movement it better than no movement). The eating is pretty hit and miss, I do have a calorie deficit everyday but not always eating the best things possible and sometimes just eating too much....for example....yesterday dinner over 1000 calories! It was only jacket potato, chicken and salad, it was eaten at mid day as I didn't get time for breakfast and I was full up until bedtime where I had an apple and 2 rice cakes but it was the wrong way of doing it. So the aim today it to try to be more structured, I know for me to lose weight I need to take in smaller calories more regularly.

24 июля 2015



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