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12 декабря 2013
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11 декабря 2013
So here we are again huh?
I swear I always do SO WELL on my new diet/exercise programs at first and then idk I almost just become content with where I'm at. Even if I hadn't met my goal weight, I would still just give up essentially. Not from lack of motivation, or results that weren't as big as I would want them to be. No, I would do awesome, lose two to three sizes, shed a decent amount of weight and go, "you know what, I look good, forget the diet." Which I suppose would be fine, you know because health isn't exactly a number, and as long as I felt good about myself.....but no I would go right back into my old eating habits. So here I am again for the 4th time embarking on a new journey.
Guess you should know a bit about me.
HW: 240
CW: 240
GW: 150
The first time I started dieting I was in middle school...yes middle school. And honestly I did awesome with it. I started at around 165 and got down to about 135 but I was miserable at that weight. It was so hard to keep my weight that low. Until High School anyway, and then colorguard, winterguard, and drill team helped me keep the weight off. It's hard to stuff your face with junk when you're only home and awake for about 4 hours a day.
The second time was about six months after high school. During my senior spring semester I just totally gave up with exercise because I was like man I just want a break from all this activity. Then a week after I graduated I started dating the man who would be my future ex-husband. Things got serious pretty quickly and he loved me for me so I didn't worry too much about my weight. But by that Christmas I was back up to around 180 pounds. (yes really) and decided to lose weight again. This time I got down to about 155 was happy there and just quit.
The third time was about a year ago. My divorce had been final for a year, and I had finally gotten out of the depression I had sunken into. This time I was 215 pounds and was absolutely DISGUSTED with the way I looked. I put myself on the strictest diet I have ever been on and started working out 7 times a day. Got down to 175 and then met the man I'm now with. So complacency set in again.
Now I'm back up...TO the largest weight I have ever been, and I've had enough. I'm tired of being comfortable with being fat just because I have a man in my life. I'm unhappy with every other aspect and no matter how much he loves me, it's not enough to bleed over if I'm not happy with myself. So here we go. Wish me luck :)
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11 декабря 2013
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