Damn you anxiety. I had a total melt down this morning, probably the worst I've had in a couple months, except this one wasn't provoked by someone else Despite my generally positive attitude I have been freaking out a bit. I'm glad people are impressed by my weight loss but my mom and nana make a huge deal about how well I have done. I know they mean well, but it just puts a lot of pressure on me. Mom worries on days that I'm not hungry so I have very few calories and worries that if I go over by fifty calories because my chicken was a little bigger than we though that it could mess up my diet. On days I'm not hungry I sometimes force food in until I'm sick just to meet calories, which isn't healthy either. My stepdad is coming into town for my youngest sister's birthday which means a lot of carby, greasy Mexican food and eating out So since I was stressing so badly about this that it triggered a melt down, I decided screw it. He comes out twice a year. He'll be here for a week. The five days between picking him up and taking him to the airport I'm going to record my food to keep my sugars low but I'm not going to worry about going over my calories. Obviously I won't be eating every high calorie thing I can get my hands on, I'll try to stick within 1400 but if I go over, who cares? I have lost sixty one lbs in less than five months. There. It will be a short deviation but one well needed.
In middle school I was very seriously bordering anorexic habits and in high school I was bulemic. I would eat a huge amount of food and because I can throw up on command after eating, I would, yet I still gained weight. These are habits I really don't want to get back into and I worry that if I am always this strict on myself until I have reached my goal weight that I may end up there again. I suppose my point is that even those of us, like me, who are making big strides and always try to spread the positivity have down days and struggles. So if you go off the bandwagon for a few days, or have a breakdown or get made at yourself and your diet you're not failing. You're not being a Debbie Downer. You are experiencing a side effect of the long, hard journey of losing weight and getting healthy. I'm proud of you all.
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1386 ккал
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Жир: 64,29г | Белк: 70,91г | Углев: 133,63г.
Завтрак: Stonefire Tandoor Baked Mini Naan (45g). Обед: Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper - Double Cheeseburger Macaroni. Ужин: Sargento Sliced Pepper Jack Cheese, Tomatoes, Hidden Valley Original Ranch Dressing, Rothbury Farms Seasoned Croutons, Mixed Salad Greens, Tyson Foods All Natural Chicken Drumsticks. Перекус/Другое: Daisy Sour Cream, Kraft Finely Shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese, Mission Carb Balance Whole Wheat Tortillas (Soft Taco), Strawberries, Joy Cone (Coloured), Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom Mint Chocolate Chip. подробнее ...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Комментария
What a beautiful person you are, Em! Have fun with your stepdad.
21 май 16 написано членом: kpwcalories
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Thank you. My bad mood of the day was lifted when I just checked my BMI (which I know isn't super accurate but it's a number I like to keep in mind because it's another way to keep track) and....
I AM NO LONGER CLASSIFIED AS MORBIDLY OBESE
IM JUST CLASS 2 OBESE
And I weigh about twenty lbs less than I did at this time last year so my anxiety can suck it-
21 май 16 написано членом: EmTheQueen
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You are doing great...don't ever forget that!!!
21 май 16 написано членом: SjF60
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Yes, EM, it is a journey and we just do the best we can one day at a a time
21 май 16 написано членом: HCB
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What a great post Em...thanks for sharing!! Good luck on your stepdad's visit....take care!!
21 май 16 написано членом: Steven Lloyd
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Nice work. Again. Enjoy the week.
21 май 16 написано членом: jimmiepop
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Em, I agree with what the others have said, and hope that you enjoy the visit with guilt feelings. But since you have a few days to prepare, you might want to consider what will be served and what you can have that will have the least detrimental effects. I looove Mexican food and know it would be easy to go completely off track, but you can control some of it by looking at what is in a dish and only eating part of it -- for example, if a quesadilla has 2 tortillas, skip the top one and only eat the bottom (or even better, skip both and only eat what's inside. Good luck, and keep reminding yourself how well you have done and how far you have come! And don't let anyone guilt you into giving up!!!
21 май 16 написано членом: pandasmom
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Em, you may be proud of us, but I'm proud of YOU: Losing those 20 pounds in spite of anxiety is not easy (speaking from experience), and YET YOU DID IT. Kudos to you!!!!!
22 май 16 написано членом: PokeyJack
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Anxiety is the worst thing with which to deal; I speak from experience. YOU can do this! It is hard; however, we have your back and support you all the way!
22 май 16 написано членом: kclab
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I am so proud of your attitude Em!!! Yes, PLEASE enjoy the time with your stepdad and don't sweat it. I mean, don't go crazy off the deep end either!! but try to make as good of choices as are available to you and know that when he leaves, you will go right back to your regular routine. Time with family is precious... don't ever miss it because you are too busy worrying about just one week of food. Go girl!!!
22 май 16 написано членом: ImLaura
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Keep up the good job Em! It is an amazing process. I agree with @Panda: try to choose the healthier versions of the Mexican food. They use lots of veggies, you can opt for half portion of meet, and maybe try to skip the tortillas or just take half of it etc. Have a great time with your family!
22 май 16 написано членом: PrettyHealthyMe
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22 май 16 написано членом: pattychaney
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