TheGreenSea- Журнал, 15 мар 23

i totally understand you. i believe my mom is a covert(aka vulnerable )narcissist. being around her is a trigger. shes never seemed to understand me. she gets angry at my successes and is thrilled if im struggling in any way. my oldest son is autistic and thats my fault, i didnt raise him on my own correctly. there is no compassion/understanding/ motherlyness. my husband and i kicked her out and lives 2 blocks away. I havent seen her in nearly a year and us 4 have been so much better for it. It makes me sad my kids cant know their only close grand parent but the way she treats them is a far worse consequence of knowing her. i hope you find peace in your difficulties once its done. treat yourself in healthy ways: spa time/fav self care, watch a fav movie, sit in silence/jam out to your favorite songs, write all the difficult times you had to deal with your mom/house triggers and rip the paper up as much as you can and throw it away/burn it/toss it into the wind. EMDR has been used to help heal childhood trauma, and im doing it right now, tremendously helpful in living life without the burdens of the past!  

Thank you for sharing Dazey 💜 Moms can be hard… especially as we try to do and be better for our own little ones (and protect them from the same trauma). I love your ideas for processing, definitely have some of those in my tool belt! 

Good luck! I have found recognizing and acknowledging a trigger takes a lot of power away from it, but that is me, not you. Hope you do well. 

Relationships with parents are complicated. They have the tendency to send or behavior back to adolescence. My suggestion is make a note in your head of things that bother you or are triggering as if you would tell a compassionate friend "can you believe what she said to me?" or " I wouldn't expect this from an adult human being". This way you are reacting as the adult and not getting sucked in the madness and nonsense. And from that position, you would be better able to react like an adult, by staying away from foods and drinks that are bad for you. It would help immensely if you had a friend you could call to vent at the end of the day, but not everyone has that option all of the time. Just remember, what would you say to yourself if you were a third person, watching everything happening between your mom and you. Try to find that pov and embrace it. And be kind to yourself, take a break when you need it, excuse yourself fr a while while you regroup. You can do it! It's just for a limited amount of time ;)