madaboutmoose- Журнал, 22 апр 15

Day 3 begins ...

Oh how I love the early mornings when I am by myself. The only thing that could be better would be if my beloved Doberman Blue was still here with me. Gosh it's almost like he is because I cannot stop thinking about that dog!! Oh how I miss him.

I have been doing well with eating. Although my body still aches in so many places and obviously there isn't a big shift in anything yet I do feel a little better. I know this. I know I feel better when I eat well. Why then oh why do I dive into the depths of eating poorly??? It's a life long mystery I fear!! I bought myself some Sweet & Spicy Good Earth Tea yesterday, the decaffeinated variety, to try to replace my evening snacking with a tasty hot cup of tea. I forgot how delicious that tea is. I actually made it through one evening without a snack after dinner. Hooray for small victories.

And so ... life goes on ...

I forget as well how much the support I receive on this site means to me. I tend to isolate myself. It's not really completely intentional ... as a therapist I'm accustomed to focusing on other people's issues and not my own ... and though I'm with people most of the day it isn't appropriate to talk about "my stuff." Then I guess my upbringing kicks in there too ... I'm a "helper" just like my momma. I tend to put myself last ... and am lousy at asking for help or being vulnerable. Cognitively of course I know I am not alone. I'm smart enough to realize that. But emotionally there are times I truly feel like no one "gets me" and no one ever will. This site helps to break that delusional thinking I engage in. I've been here for MANY years now, on and off, and though there are times I feel I have failed and don't really want to talk then I have a moment when I risk posting and TADA!!!! I have not failed. I realize I am simply VERY HUMAN!!!

Time marches on ... the end of April is just around the corner, the days are stretching longer, and I'm approaching my 6th decade!!! Thanks to those who posted yesterday ... you kindness is appreciated. Which reminds me ... practice self kindness ... that's what I'm working on ... be kind to myself, take care of myself, be mindful, focus on the NOW moments rather than the past or future ... it IS what is real.

Take care!

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