old_but_not_out- Журнал, 17 ноя 22

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I have been really stable since July. Getting rid of sugar and caffeine really seemed to calm down the bipolar swings. Without the stimulants the manic flattened out and the depressions haven’t come. Many years ago I tried medication and gave up on it. I learned a lot about my mind in therapy and hated the meds!

Two days he came roaring back. Nothing exists except for darkness and cold. I’m locked away and can’t fight back. He wants me dead, always has, it’s depressions main reason for existing. I know I won’t lose. Wanting to die doesn’t mean I will. I came to accept that a long time ago. That makes it easier. I don’t have to fight to live. I just have to wait out the darkness. It always leaves. A couple of days, a week, he’ll even a month.

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Жир: 55,14г | Белк: 209,75г | Углев: 224,73г. Завтрак: Quest Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Protein Bar. Обед: Bananas, GNC AMP Sustained Protein Blend. После Ужина: Garlic, Garlic Butter, Sweet Onions, Portabella Mushrooms (Grilled), Yellow Sweet Peppers, Trader Joe's Ahi Tuna Steaks. Перекус/Другое: Quest Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Protein Bar, Michigan Apples Gala Apples, Dandy Celery Sticks, Michigan Apples Gala Apples, Cabot Vermont Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese. подробнее ...

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I will sit at my desk working and crying for absolutely no reason. Just have to gut it out. I have no idea how my wife lives through this. I can barely do it and I’m in the middle of it. Outside looking in helplessly has to be brutal. I am just an absolute monster to be around right now. Maybe tomorrow it lifts. Though more than likely it’s going to take a bit longer than that I put my slip on shoes today because tying my shoes was too difficult a task to manage. I hate when it gets like this especially after such a long period without

17 ноя 22 написано членом: old_but_not_out

depression sucks ass. it’s very lonely. hope you feel better soon.

17 ноя 22 написано членом: mia.jones17

😕hang in there its only temporary

17 ноя 22 написано членом: ObeseToBeast123

Prayers for you!!! Sounds heartbreaking. Prayers for your wife too. Can’t be easy! 🙏🙏

17 ноя 22 написано членом: wifey9707

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

17 ноя 22 написано членом: Diana 1234


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