|
I joined a challenge!!! Stef was nice enough to invite me to join the weight loss challenge. I pledged to try to lose 10 pounds by the end of August. maybe that will be some of the motivation I need to get my tushy into a gym :)
Today, is the day I take my grandmother to the gym and try to get signed up. I am going to get a trainer and learn about weight training. I think that will really help me. I am decently proportioned but very 'soft' and 'squishy'. I think some weight training will be good for me. I think I would not mind learning to box. Something makes me think that hitting one of those bags might feel really good. As you know, I am really trying to work on the whole me - spiritual, mental, psychological and physical. For some reason, I think it might do me good to hit something. I will see if that is something available at this place.
regarding my BP. I feel better now that I stopped taking the one pill. The last few times I have checked it, my BP was around 105/65. I think that is pretty good. I feel better also. I have been sleeping better and just am more able to do things.
regarding WOE - I was very good last week and when I got home my Wii said I had gained 3 pounds. how?? I did not eat much and did nothing bad that would make me gain. I wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that i was walking to and from the office each day. It is about an 8 block walk, nothing too much but... I was really upset. Anyway, on Saturday, I was so mad at myself that i ate wrong. Nothing really bad but.... It started at lunch. I went to Cracker barrel with my Dear darling and a business associate. I had the meatloaf green beans, sliced tomatoes and fried okra. The meatloaf has carbs as did the okra. Then at the pool, my friend fixed a margarita and kept telling me to try it. She had already had a few and did not take no for an answer. I did not say no more than a couple of times and then I drank it. Then we went to dinner with our friends and they wanted chinese buffet. I had some meat and stuff but it tasted a little sweet so I know it was bad. But I got back on the wagon Sunday. I ended up eating some smoked sausage and zucchini that I grilled. I also had a low carb yogurt and dill pickles. I was OK and have not experienced the cravings that tend to come with eating too many carbs.
Life with the dear darling has been a bit better. He seems to be trying more. I have not looked at the phone bill so I am not sure if the texts have stopped on not. Don't really want to look I guess. But my friend at the pool told me that one of the older women in my neighborhood said that the girl has been staying over at my house. Now you can just imagine how mad that made me. So I asked him about it and he said that nobody had been staying over at the house. I want to believe him but am not sure I do. I then told him that I was tired of keeping my feelings to myself and that while I do love him, I can do fine without him. And that if I decide to throw him out, I will be OK. I told him that I was not going to put up with things as they had been and that he could either work on this marriage with me or not. I am not going to be used or feel used anymore. he did not say much to that so I don't know if he really understood what i was saying or not. I guess we will see.
Funny thing was, when I got back from the pool, (before the talk with him) he was not there. I was so mad I thought i was gong to loose it so I changed my clothes and then I heard his truck in the hay field. I saw him looking at it and then he left. Well I figured she was with him for some reason and off I went to the orchard (where she lives). I passed him on the road and he honked at me but I did not stop. I flew down the road and stopped at the orchard. I got out and looked around but nobody was there. I ended up going back home and he did not ask me where I was going. He may have already known. I don't know but I was so ready to kick some ass!! Funny given that I have never been much for confrontation. But I was ready at that time :) May still go do it... I think i would feel better.
|
2050 ккал
|
Жир: 163,78г | Белк: 112,47г | Углев: 29,31г.
Завтрак: Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Heavy Whipping Cream. Обед: polska kielbasa, egg. Ужин: blueberry, hidden valley ranch dressing, feta cheese, baby spinach, hot wing sauce, marzetti blue cheese dressing, chicken drummett. Перекус/Другое: kroger yogurt, carb smart fudge. подробнее ...
|
|
 Комментария
Elizabeth, so glad that you joined the challenge. Need to go back and read your previous entries, as I am behind so not sure what you mean about the texts. I am so happy that you are standing up for yourself!! I suspect that the reason that he didn't answer you when you confronted him about throwing him out is because he knows he is in the wrong and that the woman was there and he was afraid of getting caught in a lie and tripping himself up. You are becoming stronger and stronger Elizabeth and telling him you would be just fine without him, was a true step forward for you! Hugs and have a wonderful week! Proud of you...oh and as far as the 3 pounds, yep probably fluid retention which is what happens when we use muscles we aren't used to using and they are repairing themselves. Don't pet the sweaty things!! lol
06 июн 11 написано членом: ctlss
|
Thanks Stef. It is not easy to stand up for yourself. Funny that it seems so many of us who have joined this site to work on weight loss end up working on ourselves in ways we never really intended. Life happens and it seems that the willpower we use to lose the weight spills over into other areas of life. I feel as if I am getting little bit stronger everyday in several areas of life. I am tired of being pushed around and second best. I'm simply not going to take it anymore. Of course, you guys may have to remind me of that again down the road.... I really don't want a divorce and really do want to believe him. But I am not going to be made a fool of either.... It is really a hard line to walk.
06 июн 11 написано членом: esimnons
|
Elizabeth, I always give the benefit of the doubt, until it just becomes too obvious that there is no doubt anymore. I think that is what is happening to you. If it were me I would install a nanny cam (one of those tiny little hidden cameras) and record for a week while I was gone. Then you will know for sure...it may even be that the neighbor is trying to stir up a hornet's nest. And yes, we all have made a lot of positive changes in all areas of our lives, haven't we? That may truly be the greatest gift we have given ourselves. I really am proud of you...you are much too beautiful, smart, and sweet to be treated badly! HUGS!
06 июн 11 написано членом: ctlss
|
Thanks Stef. The honest truth is - I don't want to be the person who is so worried about him cheating that I have to spy on him or look at the phone bills or whatever. if it is over, then I want it to be over. Don't want to have to turn into a snoop. My honest opinion is that he is not actuclly screwing around. He just really isn't that into sex. He is however, into the chase. he likes people around and likes to talk. I would not be at all surprised that she has been to my house in the evenings. I am almost positive he has been cooking her dinner at least a time or two. he will not tell me that of course, but I am pretty sure it is true. And in a way, I don't really care about that. In another way I do care about that. I am probably going to break down and go talk to her and her mother. She lives with her parents (this is a 3o something woman). I am probably going to go have a little chat this week. I just think i would feel better if I do. Most of me is thinking that we may be able to make it through this regardless of what it really is. But it is up to him at this point. I am just not going to be treated the way he has been treating me. He can yell at someone else. I'm done.
06 июн 11 написано членом: esimnons
|
oh man do we need a phone call! lots to share... yay for the gym! and do get a trainer if only for a few visits - it will help! and so will the lifting, trust me :) boxing is great! i spent a few times in the ring and on the punching bag - it feels AWESOME!! i need to get my own wraps & gloves - which is rather inexpensive - i can't keep using the gym's (YUK!) but i was surprised by how much i loved it - it's very empowering!!
07 июн 11 написано членом: sophie99
|
Elizabeth, you have to do what is right for you, my dear...but know this...if the relationship is all that it should be, he should treat you like a queen and you should treat him like a king. It won't always be perfect, as even a rose has it's thorns, but the good should outweigh the bad by a million. No one should be in a marriage that makes them miserable all the time. LIfe is just too short. As for the boxing...heck yeah, go for it!!! Punching bag, speed bag, all good for getting aggressions out! lol My boys had both growing up, and I loved using them.
07 июн 11 написано членом: ctlss
|
Well sadly they don't have a boxing class or anything like that at this gym. I was not overly impressed to tell the truth. But they have water and free weights and cybex machines and elipticals etc. They have a zumba class and other stuff. The trainer thing is a different story. I know how bad this is going to sound but the woman that is one of the trainers is well ... not obvious. by that i mean, she is not fat by any means but does not look like a wonderfully fit woman. And appears to have less confidence that I appear to have. I have a pretty stressful job and have to appear confident on the outside or they will eat me alive. So I project a certain air. it is false as you guys know from my journals but it appears to be true. Anyway, this woman projects the confidence of a worm. I refuse to hire her as a trainer. I know how bad that sounds and I am really sorry. She is likely wonderful at her job and may be a fitness guru. I should not judge a book by its cover but... I did.
Anyway, I am going to go up there this afternoon and at least walk on the treadmill and get the blood pumping some. I may have to become my own traininer. I can do that. I can do anything I put my mind to.... :) Gonna repeat that all day :) Any suggestions on fitness books??
07 июн 11 написано членом: esimnons
|
you can do it! you'll get it figured out - i met with a trainer twice but i've changed some stuff based on what i've learned online. i love 'the confidence of a worm' - funny yet sad!
07 июн 11 написано членом: sophie99
|
Aw, so sorry that the trainer left much to be desired. But I have no doubt that you will figure out what you need to do, and who knows while you are there, you may see this woman in action and change your mind. Maybe she is like Clark Kent....mild mannered until she steps into the phone booth! lol Have a great day Elizabeth! Hugs!
07 июн 11 написано членом: ctlss
|
| |
|
|
| |
Оставить свой Комментарий
Вы должны войти, чтобы оставить комментарий. Нажмите здесь, чтобы войти.
|
|
|
|
