tamara_lee- Журнал, 17 янв 22

Just had a bit of a sad scroll back through the years on here. So many terrible and wonderful things have happened since I stopped using this app. I didnt give up altogether, I was still making some progress and tired another app, so some logging is lost. But illness and then covid shutdown and working from home really completely undid everything. I put back the 40lb I had lost. plus another 15. 😓
But something big did change recently. 3 months ago I was diagnosed with ADHD, and started medication.
When I say that I almost cried when my brain was quiet for the first time, and doing a household task didnt cause me physical pain or anxiety, I can't explain how overwhelming it was. I know i will take these meds as long as they work for me, because everything else is so worth it.
That being said, I knew there was a possibility of weight change, so at the beginning I logged my current weight and reset my start weight.
I'm now almost back to my start weight from years ago.
I haven't changed anything about how I cook. But my body's relationship with food has changed completely.
When I am medicated, I'm no longer hunting for dopamine fixes, or feeling hungry from boredom.
But it also means I'm relearning all of my hunger cues. And accommodating for nausea and lack of appetite at medication peak with protein drinks that won't make me feel sick. And sometimes I'll go to bed and wake up hungry and acid stomach in an hour once the meds are gone. My portions are smaller out of necessity and meeting minimum calorie intake to avoid unintentional anorexia is exhausting.
What I eat in a day is not necessarily balanced, or healthy. But is also not constantly supplemented with a search for dopamine triggering foods.
For now, I'll continue to fuel my body in whatever way it will let me, and take my vitamins to keep the scurvy at bay 😅

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