I’ve learned so much about myself in the past 4 years. It’s been hella ugly. It’s been terrifying. It’s been satisfying. It’s been beautiful. It doesn’t end here though, I’m not done, I’m just getting started. I’ve still not dealt with all my daemons, skeletons and traumas. No amount of fasting, restricting, or Jesus will resolve my childhood traumas that lead me to stuff my face so that I ballooned to 280lb at age 18. No gastric bypass surgery, no tummy tuck no amount of weight lifting is going to resolve my adulthood traumas, set backs and obstacles that lead me to drink and binge myself to 210lb from 170.
So what is it going to take? More hella ugly conversations. A desire to change. Courage to say I am holding myself back. I am sabotaging me, not the wine, not the Cheetos. But more than anything I’ve forgiven myself. I’m not angry at myself any more. I’m not ashamed of my past. I no longer care what other people think of me.
I am brave. I am strong. I will succeed.
Now go make it happen. Yeah it’s hard AF. Yeah you gotta work hard AF. No there are no short cuts. Hard work, grit, determination, dedication, commitment and CONSISTENCY. You don’t have to be perfect but please stop bullshitting yourself because you are not buying your bullshit.
2014 at my slimmest but also sickest
2017 at my weakest mentally, physically and emotionally
2021 at my best; strong, healthy, confident
From: Me
To: Me, oh and you, yes you 😉
