Feeling crappy about myself. I'm in a management position at work and it's not natural to my personality. Big fish in a tiny pond situation. A few months back, a member of my team started a rumor about how I smell. I assume it's a prejudice against fat people. Very immature work force as you can tell. My husband has assured me he has never smelled me in our 10 year relationship. But when I encounter the person who originally started that rumor, I feel like a little kid being bullied. She ignores my instruction and goes to other management for help. I don't know how to handle it short of crying.
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Комментария
♥️♥️♥️♥️Hey, nice drop!! I’m so sorry people can be cruel. I would listen to your husband. Being new management isn’t easy. We’re these employees your coworkers prior? It might be a jealousy situation. Maybe she needs a gentle reminder of work place etiquette and a gentle reminder that you are who this employee is to report to. You have what it takes for this journey and your new position!! You are stronger than you think💜💚
01 май 20 написано членом: jcmama777
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Do you have a Human Resources where you work? If so do you think they can help with the situation?
01 май 20 написано членом: SMK2016
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Nice loss - let go of haters, you will win in the end !
01 май 20 написано членом: HCB
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Just remember you are in charge of your department. Talk with your boss about the situation and let her/him know that you would like their advice on how to handle the situation.
01 май 20 написано членом: Ram12Gar
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Crying helps. I now know I was bullied as a child, and I know I did some bullying as a kid that I am feel bad about. But I grew up and I no longer bully people. I have good self esteem, I don’t really know why, but I am able to shed/ignore/snip/ smile/shred people’s comments and opinions. I think because I am good at ignoring or considering the source or being real snippy or finding humor in it, I don’t have much hurt from it or even get bullied.
My daughter was very soft hearted and like her dad a people pleaser, I could never understand how I raised such a child lacking self respect. And, she was often hurt by people, but it finally dawned on her that she is as good as anyone else.
The person who you have to please is you. I remember working with a friend as fat as me. She was upset because a co-worker talked (in front of her) about how fat people don’t tie their laces in the middle of their tennis shoes but on the side. The guy who said that in front of my friend had many many other faults and I considered him a non-entity. He was beneath my notice because he was a creep and I knew it.
01 май 20 написано членом: ginger dog
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personal comments are a form of sexual abuse, and are tolerated in the work place, keep that in mind next time you see that person, and she actually be written up. good luck hand stand tall!
01 май 20 написано членом: Little Red Fox
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I meant to say NOT TOLERATED in the work place
01 май 20 написано членом: Little Red Fox
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01 май 20 написано членом: Little Red Fox
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Thanks everyone. I need to work on being stronger. I hadn't thought of the comment as a form of sexual harassment. I'll just try to stay on the bright side. Thanks again.
01 май 20 написано членом: DameMahem
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also, you are being tested on how you are going to react to this situation. It would be good if you could take a class or something on line to help with Management skills. Remember you are in charge now, and you need to lead with kindness, understanding, fairness but be firm too.
01 май 20 написано членом: Little Red Fox
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Honey, you wouldn’t have the job if the higher ups didn’t think you could handle it❤️ Which means you do have strength and you just need to believe in yourself 💜💚 I agree, have a good cry to get out the emotions and then positive affirmations everyday 💗 I do it. And absolutely there is always an HR department.
01 май 20 написано членом: jcmama777
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That is horrible and incredibly immature! You need to go to Hr and let them know the situation, then let them know you will be speaking to that employee personally to handle the problem. Then pull the employee aside, with a witness (another person on your level who has your back) and let the employee know that you will not tolerate negativity or their blatant insubordination. Then I would follow it up by letting them know that if they do not think they are capable of changing their attitude then they should go ahead and look for another job. I have dealt with problem employees, it always helps to have a witness when you speak with them, in case the employee lies and it also gives you back up which you need when dealing with an office bully. Good luck and remember you are in charge, don’t let them have your power, which is what they are trying to siphon out of you. You sound like a really nice person, I used to be one too until I had employees push me around, now I’m nice but I squash attitude real quick!
01 май 20 написано членом: Jessrob
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Oh, one more thing. Make sure what ever day you choose to have your meeting with this employee you have makeup and lipstick on, it gives your more confidence! ❤️❤️
01 май 20 написано членом: Jessrob
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I'm not sure I would go to anyone yet. Make this person accountable. give clear instructions deliverables and dates. try your best to ignore their rudeness. after you have documentation of success or failure you are in a position to evaluate. don't you have annual goals for your employees? team dynamics is important. Being a team player is a requirement. you can have peer reviews to help you evaluate troubling personnel. take personality out of your evaluation because some may be your insecurity too. Is this matrix management? that always makes things a little difficult.
01 май 20 написано членом: tlb25
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As someone who has managed a lot of people of all ages, my best advice is to treat your employees like they are your children. I don’t mean to be condescending, just that if you can always be managing from a compassionate angle you will succeed. Imagine your kid called you a “doodoohead” and you need to explain to them why it’s hurtful & disruptive in a calm and firm way, that you will not tolerate it and expect better from them. No need to feel upset - people can be unruly at all ages and if you take the high road and keep your composure while providing guidance you will be golden. And if you can find a “co-parent” / fellow manager to have your back during the discussion, that’s even better!
02 май 20 написано членом: goochie72
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Or another way to think of it: like you’re Spock!! emotions in control, explaining the problem and your expectations going forward in a logical way. Calm cool collected is the way to go 👍 I never sit down to speak with an employee while I’m upset if I can avoid it
02 май 20 написано членом: goochie72
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All great suggestions, thank you!
02 май 20 написано членом: DameMahem
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