bouncy k- Журнал, 08 май 10

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i really should be on cloud 9. but instead i feel depressed. i mean really , why in heavens am i in a mood ?? here i am 4 months down the track comimg up close to 19 kg loss. fitting into a size 20 jeans, down from 24-26. my clothes are literally hanging off me. i can see most days my body is looking thinner. and still im feeling down on myself. what is going on in my head ?? i have been totally cranky to my dear partner. bitching, yelling, even straight out awful and mean. it is not fair on him to put up with my volatile mood swings. yesterday was a really bad day. walking home from work carrying grocerys and both bags broke. on top of that i twisted my ankle. so 4 hours of walking went to crap once this experience occurred. all i could think to myself was ... you are hopeless. ya can t even walk for 4 hours without stuffing it up. seriously, im totally useless. he would be better off without me. im just a raving luntic. where he is a loving good man who deserves a calm woman . honestly, i wonder how i have achieved this weightloss with my mood swings. its been a crazy week. i feel like just throwing in the towel with the business just up and saying im outta here. i feel like im going nowhere in life right now. apart from having to hitch up my jeans every 2 minutes life really is a drain ! i should really be counting myself lucky that he loves me. there is plenty of awesome looking women out there that would be grateful to have this man. im a selfish self centre tart. i need to grow a brain and appreciate what i have in life. but hey, sometimes that is easier said than done.

so note to self.... get over yourself, get outta this mood. go home from work, be a loving partner and stop drowning in self pity. put him and his needs 1st. simple !!! yep i have had a bad day....

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Hey BK, reading this reminded me so much of how I sometimes feel about myself (especially around TOTM!) I know we all need to let off steam and yes, you really had a lousy day but please don't be so hard on yourself! You can't start thinking that your partner would be better off with someone else; if that were true, he'd be already gone. He obviously sees the real you and knows that you're worth so much more than a lousy number on a scale or a clothes tag. Why don't you show him your journal entry or talk to him about how you're feeling? He'll reassure you why he loves you... but, if you're anything like me, you'll think he's just saying it to be nice. :-) Hey look at what you've already accomplished: almost 20kg!! That's about 40lb! That's freakin' awesome and you should be proud of it. Sit back, relax, rest your ankle and allow your partner to pamper you. I know that when this black cloud comes over you, it's impossible to shake, so for tonight, just do something you enjoy doing and tomorrow, start over again. Don't feel you're useless! Look at what you've accomplished. Having to hitch up your jeans every 2 mins is a GREAT sign that you're on the right track! Wish I had the same "problem". :-) Tomorrow, you should reward yourself for your hard work and to make up for such a crappy day; go out and buy a smaller size pair of jeans. That's the best perk up ever! Yes, even better than chocolate! LOL. Good luck to you and stay strong! :-)

07 май 10 написано членом: Gallimh

p.s. so much for splitting all that into paragraphs! It got all squashed up when I submitted it. LOL

07 май 10 написано членом: Gallimh


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